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Monday, December 5th 2005

11:40 AM (943 days, 6h, 59min ago)

  • Mood: romantic :)
  • Music: Walking in a Winter Wonderland
For my wedding....  I want to take dance lessons with my father and the husband-to-be, but I think I'll let him (husband-to-be) take lessons with his mother or sister.  That would be fun!

There is a thing in some weddings called 'dancing'.  I want it at my wedding.  See, something, at least to me, is symbolized by the bride dancing, first with her father, then her husband.  And I want that in my wedding.  Or, if Dad is not able to or is unable to be there, I want to dance with my brothers.

Something sad, and yet exciting, is shown through that 'performance', if you will.  The father is 'dancing the last dance' with his daughter who is now a grown woman, or at least we would hope so.  The groom dancing with his bride is showing the beginning of a new era in both of their lives - a time to grow and love one another.

I really and truly cannot wait for that time in my life, and yet... it scares the livin' daylights out of me.  Have you ever heard the song 'Mister Sandman, Bring Me a Dream'?  I realize it's an oldies song, but I've actually stopped to listen to the words. (Maybe, if I can find them, I'll post them on here.) '... and tell him that his lonely nights are over....'  That doesn't just apply to men; it applies to women (specifically me).  As the 'weaker vessel', I want to know that someone is there for me.  Someone will be there to protect and care for me.  Someone upon whom I can shower affection, love, encouragement, whatever he needs. (In other words, I want someone who will go slay dragons, conquer evil, and come home at the end of the day to receive my praise and encouragement.)  That is some of the positive side, now for the... not negative, but not totally encouraging either side.  I have a huge 'choice' of men where I am - good Christian men.  But, what if I were to go totally on my own in 'choosing' my husband?  What then?  A marraige is a pact of 'forever'.  If I marry Mr Wrong, the moment I say 'I do', he is Mr Right.  See, I don't know who 'he' is.  Goodness!  He might be the young man who sits on the other side of the church, or near me!  I don't know.  All I know is that I have to follow God's direction.  It really all depends on my relationship with God.  I follow His leading = meeting and marrying Mr Right.  I follow my heart rather than what is right = maybe meeting Mr Right, but possibly looking right over him and marrying Mr Wrong.  Get my point?  Now you see why it scares me so bad.

Now, it may seem that I am bragging here, but I have, obviously, men in my family, great guy friends, and one especially great guy friend.  From what they tell me, what I have seen and heard, and have dealt with on my own, I have a good understanding of men.  I understand a lot of what men and women want.  Men want: the soft side of a woman (ie. love, tender care that only a woman can give, encouragement, someone who will lift him up, and help meet his needs, whatever they may be).  Women want (whether they realize it or not): someone to protect and care for them as only a man can, to be able to (maybe not physically, but at least mentally and verbally) hold their man's head to their hearts when things have gone bad at the office or his mom os being frustrating, or he's sick and feels like death warmed over, someone to encourage (something that will give any woman the most beautiful feeling in the world), someone to taste their cooking, and rather than (if it's really not that good) saying, 'That's nasty!'  saying, 'Dear, maybe if you'd add a pinch more of confectioner's sugar, it would taste even better.  Here let me help!'  We also want to raise a family, maybe a dog or two, or some other critter that our six-year-old boy brings home from the creek.

Okay, so I've been sappy, but at the same time, this is the way I think.  I can only pray that I will be directed to a man who thinks like me.  Amen! (So be it!)
9 Silver Bells.

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